I had to adjust to someone I hated, he had to adjust to the realization that this was his new life for the next 20 plus years. The entire process was draining.
I learned to navigate the adjusting phase through communication, years later of course, but it happened. I learned that I had to speak up about how Ratboy and the things he did made me feel. I couldn't expect him to understand how things made me feel if I just let it slide every time.
The lesson: COMMUNICATION IS KEY no matter what. Be respectful in your delivery and coachable in your receipt.